“You must understand the whole of life, not just one little part of it. That is why you must read, that is why you must look at the skies, that is why you must sing, and dance, and write poems, and suffer, and understand, for all that is life.” – Jiddu Krishnamurti

(Click on all Images to see larger views!!)

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Since we started to move into our beautiful new Homestead, it seemed as if I was having one thing after another happening to me. When I first arrived, I had an Ovarian Cyst and then shortly after, I sprained my knee moving things into the house. I also ended up in the ER after severely puncturing my finger in the Garden on some type of Rose Bush. I ended up having a Tetanus (T-dap) shot which is still causing me some side effects and on top of it I had some other health issues I was dealing with that were extremely painful and frustrating. I had a mini-break down one night out of pure frustration and if I am being honest, feeling sorry for myself. Matthew comforted me with his words and his constant compassion which helped me so much. I was also texting a very dear friend of mine and venting about why it is I don’t seem to get a break. There was something she said to me that really spoke to my soul so very much:

“Because you’re asking for a break. You see physical wellness as an indicator of how positive or negative you have been. You’ve been ‘getting a break’ in so many other ways. You just got the biggest break of all. The love break. You got to move in with the love of your life. Your heart got a break.”

This is so true. Those words resonated with me so much. I so often will have something wrong with me physically and look back to reflect on any moments I was maybe not positive enough and I get angry when I feel that I have been positive and yet I keep suffering.

I realize that you cannot think like that. I cannot think that just because I am being positive that all of my physical ailments will get better, and I can’t think that if I am negative that I am guaranteed to have bad things happen to me. All I can do is live every day with the most positive of intentions and hope for the best, but know that I have the ability inside of myself to overcome any obstacle that comes my way.

“Sometimes you climb out of bed in the morning and you think, I’m not going to make it, but you laugh inside — remembering all the times you’ve felt that way.”

– Charles Bukowski

Once I was able to move past the frustrations of the physical things that I was not able to control, I started to focus more on the good things that were surrounding me. The fact that I now have a home with the love of my life. That we have a huge beautiful garden and so much land for Tayo to run around in. That I can look outside the window in the morning and see beautiful trees and sky and know that I am living where I have dreamed of living, and most important of all – the fact that although I have been given many health issues to bear, that I have such an important and vital support system in my life and that I am, despite all of my pain; alive and continuing to endure, accept, progress and grow.

I cannot wait for Spring to arrive and to wear flower crowns in my hair and long dresses with knee-high boots and walk everywhere. I am the most excited about starting to plant my own Flowers, Herbs and Food. I will start with Red Roses and move onto Lavender, Chamomile, Spinach and so many others. I started a board on Pinterest just for Garden Inspiration. It’s been getting me even more excited and ready to plant and grow!

Tayo has been adjusting to the move and he’s been barking at every single thing including the wind! I think he is confused at the change but at the same time he is so happy with having so much more room to run around in and he is constantly trying to get me outside to let him chew on pine combs and sticks and run around in circles!

Bobcat. I caught this beautiful creature with my camera and am so happy with how it turned out. I can’t believe I saw him. So beautiful.

I am fighting off a horrible cold/flu and am trying to get lots of rest and am drinking a lot of the Sleepytime Echinacea Complete Care Tea and taking extra Vitamin C and D. I hope this passes soon – I can’t wait for the sun to be out again!

From The Language Of Flowers by Vanessa Diffenbaugh.

xoxo,

Britanie

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