I have had a really, really tough couple of weeks. I’ve been in agony. I’ve been finding it hard to do just simple every day tasks but I am keeping my head above water and trying to focus on the little things that make me happy. Thank god for matthew, my family and my friends. their positive words and constant compassion are what help me get through going into a deep depression. They keep me inspired and hopeful that things will get better. They have to. I’ve come this far already.
I am going to Long Island in a few days to celebrate my birthday which is on Sunday. I am trying to get together some friends to all meet at Witches Brew and then Monday I have the Fiona Apple concert with Matthew which I am SO excited for. I am just concerned about traveling with how sick I have been. I am crossing my fingers that I will have a good, pain free week and can have a really nice birthday with matthew and my friends. That would be wonderful, honestly.
“To love life, to love it even when you have no stomach for it and everything you’ve held dear crumbles like burnt paper in your hands, your throat filled with the silt of it. When grief sits with you, its tropical heat thickening the air, heavy as water more fit for gills than lungs; when grief weights you like your own flesh only more of it, an obesity of grief, you think, How can a body withstand this? Then you hold life like a face between your palms, a plain face, no charming smile, no violet eyes, and you say, yes, I will take you I will love you, again.”
― Ellen Bass