“Let everything happen to you,
Beauty and terror.
Just keep going,
No feeling is final.”
— Rainer Maria Rilke
I’ve been in a lot of pain this week and sometimes it gets hard to get out of bed, let alone put my makeup on and make a blog post with a smile on my face. If there is anything I have learned about living with chronic physical pain it is that every thing you do, every thing you say that is positive will help you so much in the long run.
Sometimes I am over eager to do more than my body is capable of doing and I don’t listen to my body and I push too much and I pay for it after. Sometimes it is worth it and other times it’s a big set back. I am learning to accept when my body can not do something and to not feel guilt about it.
I think a lot of people who deal with chronic health issues live with a severe amount of guilt. I know I do. Guilt that we aren’t doing as much as we should be. Guilt that we are disappointing friends and loved ones by having to cancel plans on short notice or just simply knowing that you cannot go somewhere with them because of how you are feeling physically. It can be really stressful and being stressed out only makes matters worse.
I am learning every day to not put pressure on myself and to not feel guilty if I cannot push myself as far as I or someone wishes that I could. I can only do the best that I can do for myself. My advice to anyone out there who suffers from chronic pain, physical or mental, don’t beat yourself up about it. Push yourself just enough to where you are comfortable. Don’t surround yourself with people who are not understanding of your situation.
If someone really loves you for you and wants to be around you they will see you for so much more than just your health issues and they won’t make you feel guilty about not being able to go places all of the time or for canceling plans. If anything they will be proud of you for even wanting to do so much regardless of how bad you are feeling. Just having the drive to do more is enough. If you feel that people in your life are not understanding of that then you need to re-evaluate who is in your core group of friends. A real friend would never make you feel bad for feeling sick.
Just because we live with chronic health issues does not mean that we are our health issues. We are so much more than that.
Keep on keeping on.
“Suffering has been stronger than all other teaching, and has taught me to understand what your heart used to be. I have been bent and broken, but – I hope – into a better shape.”