When you google my name you might see “weight loss” images pop up. Well, not only are those images being used illegally, but they are being promoted as “inspiration” when they shouldn’t be. I hired a lawyer years ago to have many of these images taken off of weight loss websites that were using my photos to promote products. Thankfully they were taken down, but since then people still decided to steal my photos and use them for whatever they wish and they keep being promoted around the internet. It’s about time I talk more in-depth about this situation. 

Don’t believe everything you see online. I figured since people want to steal my photos and use their own narrative, I’ll share them too but add in the most important part; the TRUTH and also show me NOW. Also to tell anyone who looks at those photos and thinks they are inspiring- that they are not. The first photo you will see on both collages, I am only 17 years old. I was struggling with Endometriosis, thyroid issues, food allergies and severe anxiety. However, despite that I was pretty happy. The next image I was 21 years old. I was miserable. I was in a toxic and abusive relationship. I was battling my health conditions which got worse and I felt out of control.

In an attempt to take some type of control back, I became very sick with a vicious eating disorder. I may look skinny and beautiful in those photos, but believe me, I hated myself. I thought I was fat and useless. I have pages and pages of me writing on and on about my weight and how disgusting I am. No matter how much weight I lost, it was never enough and I never even saw myself as thin. I was never once happy in my body during this time. Not once. 

The third photo is me now. 32 years old. Am I fat? Am I skinny? Well… Truth is, I really don’t care. That’s one of the many differences now. I spent YEARS feeling so out of control with my body due to painful and chronic health issues and being in a horrible relationship, it led me onto a path of destruction. I starved myself. I binged and purged and I felt I had “some control” over something in my life. That’s what it was always about. Having control over a body I felt I never had control over and instead all I did was lose total control and lose myself. 

I am happy to say that since that second photo (over 10 years ago) that I overcame my ED completely. I worked relentlessly on myself and continue to do so. I struggle with my weight now but it is due to specific health conditions that are still out of my control and I do not beat myself up about it. I embrace the weight loss and gains all while staying as positive and healthy as I possibly can and I know in my heart I will eventually heal more and more. 

I love myself, with my extra weight, my cellulite, my jiggly thighs, I love all of it and I never in a million years thought that would be possible to feel or say. I hope you can love yourself too. Please don’t waste a second of your life hating your body. I promise you, it is NOT worth it. 👌🏻🦋💖🌈

I hope the next time someone googles my name along with weight loss that THIS is what they will see first. 🙏🏻