a series of
and large defeats
and I am as
as any other
I have gotten
from there to
— Charles Bukowski
I had 13 vials of blood taken this week. I am still very anemic but the reason for all of the blood work was to check up on my hormones to make a decision on whether or not I should start on natural Progesterone cream to help keep the Endometriosis at bay.
I have been in a lot of pain and have been vomiting a lot lately because my food just won’t digest. It’s been extremely frustrating and uncomfortable to eat and feel miserable immediately afterwards. I recently started seeing a new Acupuncturist. I have seen her twice already and really, really like her. She has given me some Chinese Herbs to take and she has worked with both Endometriosis and Gastoparesis so I feel very hopeful about it. I am not expecting to see instant results as I know sometimes Acupuncture and Herbs can take up to six months to really feel the full effect but I am hopeful that I will be able to see some results fairly soon.
I am still hoping that at some point I will be able to get my Esthetics license as I would really love to do that professionally. I have been considering it for years now but unfortunately my health has made it impossible to really commit to anything full time right now. I am praying every day that within the next year of doing acupuncture on a regular basis and eating a Paleo diet (no grains or sugar) and incorporating Qi-Gong, Yoga and Walking into my daily life that I will feel better enough to be able to work on my career as an esthetician.
I don’t expect I will ever be completely healed of all of my health issues but I do expect to be able to function more normally and to not be suffering on a daily basis. I am staying positive and although I allow myself times to cry and be frustrated and discouraged, I always force myself to focus on the amazing things in my life and the little things that make me happy and it helps me get through the day.
I encourage anyone who also suffers from chronic pain whether it be physical, mental or emotional to try your best to put any energy you can muster up into thinking about the things you are thankful for and the things that make you smile. It can be anything. Just focus on it and remind yourself of the good things in your life instead of dwelling on the bad.
and of course always remember that this too shall pass.
Sometimes I feel like my Camera is my therapist. Whenever I walk around with it in my hand and see things to photograph it feels so cathartic.